The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire!

We were enjoying the company of some friends this evening when I heard Aimee call for Jamie from the bathroom. I did not think too much of it. I heard some whispering and laughing, but still did not pay much attention. Those two girls are always up to no good.

Jamie exited the bathroom and said to me "Oh my gosh. I need to show you something." I made my way to the bathroom and looked in. I saw a few black spider webs. It looked like a mass of spiders had entered my house and made it there home. I said "Geez! I guess we need to kill some spiders."

Jamie and Aimee laughed and said "Look at the mirror." I turned to the mirror and saw this.

I exclaimed a few choice words and no one was laughing anymore. I hate candles in the first place and now they are completely banned from my house. This candle had been "burning" long enough for soot to accumulate up the wall, on the mirror and across the ceiling. The picture does not do the actual discoloring justice.

Jamie loves burning candles, but she always places them in terrible places. You do not put a five gallon candle on a shelf with 12 inch spacing. Fire hazard! You should not burn five gallon candles in a small bathroom. Fire Hazard! You do not burn candles on your kitchen table with the candle against the wall. Fire Hazard! Maybe she does not remember that I was a firefighter for 7 years?

Our kitchen wall has been burned, the shelf has been burned and our bathroom is now burned. I hope that my insurance agent is not reading this.

Unfortunately, I realized that the spider webs in the bathroom had been there. You just could not see them. Thanks to the soot, they are now in high definition. After 1,365,792 warnings, Jamie finally understands what I have been trying to tell her. 

Women and their candles. I do not get it. Maybe I should spray myself with my earth scent hunting spray. Fourteen different candle scents at one time kills my sinuses. At least earth scent just smells like dirt and dried leaves.

Jamie has agreed to not burn anymore candles. She said "I will just get some tart burners." Great! (sarcasm) I bet she will have seven of them plugged into one extension cord. Stay tuned for a post titled "Electrical Fire!"

I love my wife. She always gives me something to write about. Hopefully my next post is about something funny, not a near death experience.