Rudolph Pancakes!

Every July Charlie starts his transformation into a reindeer. This event is typically triggered by the presence of Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby. I guess that when you are born on Christmas Day you are also born with the Christmas spirit or the delusion that you are a reindeer in a humans body.

Along with the transformation comes Christmas music videos on continual loops, Santa hats, reindeer toys, and everything Rudolph. Rudolph noses, Rudolph plates and cups, Rudolph stickers and Rudolph pancakes. Yes, I was asked to honor the most celebrated reindeer in history with a pancake portrait. 

It is hard for me to turn down a challenge from a four year old so I accepted and started brain storming. I had some concerns since I would rank my artistic ability as "non-existent". I watched some YouTube videos on pancake art and just laughed at the incredible talent that I had to compete with. The videos made me anxious. How was I going to keep my "hero" status if I screwed up a Rudolph pancake for Father Christmas himself? 

The pressure was on. I turned on the griddle, measured out the ingredients and let the kids mix them up. My best chance of success was to create a diversion. I grabbed the chocolate chips and made sure the attention was on how many chocolate chips they would get on their pancake. This is a great tactic to lower the standards of a two and four year old. 

I started outlining the reindeer on the griddle. Father Christmas was watching me work with eyes wide open. He barked out a few orders and demands. A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. I just finished the outline and Father Christmas exclaimed "That looks like a dolphin!" I was doomed! I just ignored the outburst and continued my work. I threw some antler looking things on the "dolphin" and filled in the main area of the face.

After cooking for a few minutes and praying that baby Jesus would let me flip this thing without incident I grabbed the spatula. Everything went into slow motion. The biggest challenge of my life was upon me. I could go from hero to zero with one small flick of the wrist. I slid the spatula under the dolphin with antlers pancake, gently raised the corner and quickly but smoothly flipped that flap jack like a pro. Everything stayed intact. Thank you lord. I received a standing ovation from Father Christmas and Sister Elf. I am still able to carry my torch as the best dad ever.

I threw on some chocolate chips for eyes and a mouth and a strawberry represented the shiny red nose. It was smiles all around. Now I had to make a second one for Sister Elf.....

Smoothie Number One

I started the smoothie detox today and I was looking forward to the chocolate covered strawberry smoothie. Yes, dark chocolate is actually good for you. I normally do not care for dark chocolate, but when a diet calls for it, you throw it in.

The recipe called for strawberries, dark chocolate, coconut milk and ice. I dumped everything into the blender and let it roll. I could hear the ice hitting the blades, but it was not being ground up. This created a watery mix which is not very good in a smoothie.

I continued to try to blend the ice, but I finally gave up and just took the ice out of the mixture. Unfortunately, I could not get the water out. At this point I was staring at a beautiful cup of charcoal. The chocolate made the mixture black and the strawberries created a porous, cooling lava consistency. I thought, "it can not taste that bad, it has chocolate in it." 

I turned the glass up and took a gulp. I am pretty sure that I tasted the bowels of hell. Watered down, ground up, strawberries and chocolate is like drinking chalk and Elmer's glue. This was not the way that I wanted to start this program. I had some high hopes that smoothies would be delicious and an easy replacement for meals. 5 minutes in and I was defeated. 

I threw out the activated charcoal recipe and just enjoyed a berry smoothie and salad for lunch. This was not a normal salad that I typically load up with cheese and bacon bits, smothered in ranch dressing. This was a lettuce, spinach, tomato, olive and broccoli salad, drizzled with olive oil and vinegar dressing. I just keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the end.

No artificial sugars, caffeine or meat is not normal for me. I already have some cravings, but I will stay strong and get through this, even if I have to drink charcoal.

Please comment with any smoothie tips or recipes. It will be a long 7 days without them.

Happy New Year!

Here we are again at the start of a new year and we are all jacked up on our big plans for 2016. Most of us want to lose weight or save money or try to make our lives better in some way. Personally, I plan to eat healthier, work out more, and slow the ever present aging process. Most resolutions are kept for about a week then all of a sudden we get side tracked.


"There was a birthday party and I had to eat cake." I know this one very well.


"I am trying not to cuss this year but, the drive up 75 North is maddening and a few expletives slipped from my mouth." I think that this came from my grandma's mouth.


"The gym is crowded and it was not worth going." Every gym membership holder ever.


This year is going to be different. Put your head down and go full force with your will power! I am starting with a smoothie detox and plan to continue through the year with a gluten free diet. It is amazing how your diet can affect your skin, hair, sleep, energy level and mood. I blame my balding head on the kids, not necessarily my diet.


I have printed off several recipes for smoothies to choose from. Some are good morning motivators, others are meal replacers and a few are for post workout. You can pretty much throw whatever you want into a blender and make a smoothie however, I suggest that you follow some proven concoctions until you know what works. You do not want to be deterred immediately at the beginning of the diet. I really look forward to the coca smoothie!


So far, everyone that I have told about my smoothie plan has looked at me like I have two heads. Is it really that crazy of an idea? I think that most people do not realize that they are constantly feeding their body junk. The junk taste great and our brain tells us to eat more however, all of the processed food that we eat is like dumping oil sludge into your car engine. "It-ain't-good."


I encourage all of you, no matter your resolution, to achieve your goal this year. Start by choosing one or two resolutions that are truly achievable. Make a plan. Track your progress. Set an actual goal and do not just say you want to lose weight. Specify if you want to lose 5, 10 or 15 pounds and give yourself a deadline by issuing a 1 pound per week goal.


I will do my best to keep you updated with my progress and hopefully it helps keep you motivated with your resolution. The annual "Flab-a-thon" at work should help keep me motivated.