No Diego No!

I was keeping my Betta fish in a small aquarium while I tried to cure it of fin rot. I changed the water regularly and cleaned the tank often. I used a large syringe because it was a great way to get the waste off of the bottom.

I was cleaning the aquarium tonight as I normally do, but the syringe was not functioning normally. I believe the stopper was damaged or it became deformed in the dishwasher. It was very hard to draw the syringe back to suck up the water. I was trying to be very gentle yet use a lot of strength to continue the process. Charlie was "helping" me and trying to feed Diego (the Betta) while I was changing the water.

On the first draw of water I pulled back the syringe and BAM! Water went everywhere. Charlie had a look on his face like "What the heck just happened?" I was covered in water. I was in shock for a moment while I processed what just happened. I put the syringe in the sink and grabbed some paper towels. I turned to clean up the mess and could not believe what I saw.

I look at Diego and realized that his body was no longer attached to the face that was looking back at me. I somehow beheaded Diego. Poor Charlie was still trying to feed the fish as I tried to convince him that Diego had to go to the ocean with Nemo. Luckily he did not understand the tragic event that just took place. 

I showed Jamie what I just did and Charlie chimed in with "Fish is sick." We gave Diego the highest honor funeral a fish can have. We sent him to the local water treatment plant via a beautiful white porcelain throne flushing ceremony.

She was looking at me!

Jamie and I dropped Charlie off at Maw Maw's house and headed to the big city to do some shopping. Jamie wanted jeans and I wanted an airbrush. It sounds pretty random, but it's not. I've started a fishing tackle company. You can check it out at www.hoppstackle.com. Back to the main subject. Jamie needed jeans.

We pulled up to Old Navy, I locked and loaded the stroller, unloaded the new kid and we skipped into the store. Oh the joys of having a few hours without someone saying "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy..." You hear the birds chirping, rainbows appear and golden warrior unicorns surround you as if you are a Roman Emperor. No, we did not have possession of or use recreational or prescribed narcotics. Your mind just becomes very clear when your two year old is at Maw Maw's house. You know he is safe, being fed and driving her insane.

We walked through the door of Old Navy and were immediately met by a very nice lady that knew a lot about Old Navy jeans. I found it quite ironic that she was wearing jeans, but they were not Old Navy. She gave Jamie the rundown on skinny does not mean waist and legs, it means ankle, these are flirty, these are someone's boyfriends jeans, boot cut, hip cut, short cut, wide, narrow, cotton, leather, made by elves, on and on. 

Jamie selected two styles and headed to the dressing room. I picked up Ella so that she could look in the mirror at herself. That is when I started to notice the lights dim, the music slow and the breeze begin to pickup. The wife was out of sight and the ladies were on the prowl. 

One lady looked at me, did a little finger wave while her hair flowed in the breeze and said "How cute.." Another girl must have been really shy because she kept covering her eyes with her hands and then opening them while blowing kisses. She kept saying "Hey Boo." I thought it was a little early for pet names. Then there was what I like to call a peripheral flirt. The shy girl that wants an eye full, but does not want to get caught looking because if she looks into your eyes she will fall under your spell and stalk you. She would peek and smile and quickly turn away when I looked in her direction.

I was honest with Jamie about all of the women that were looking at me. She said that they were probably just looking at Ella. I brushed that off as an absolutely incorrect assumption. Maybe the shy lady whispering "Hey boo" with her hands over her eyes was interested in Ella, but peripheral flirt girl was definitely into me. 

"Whatever Dad"