Army Graduation

Good Morning

Road Trip!

We took a little trip to Fort Jackson to pickup my brother-in-law from basic training. Typically on road trips, Jamie and I have little spats about random stuff. I am the designated driver and Jamie is the self proclaimed navigator. Jamie is always quick to let me know that she would have chosen a different route of travel or she would be traveling at a different speed. "Really woman? You can't find your phone on a daily basis!" I can't help but love her.

We woke up at "Oh God Early" this morning to begin our trip. The plan was to load up the last minute items and then load Charlie while he was still asleep. Errrr! Charlie must have heard the rustling going on and he jumped up like a dog that heard someone say "Squirrel!" "Are you serious child? It is 5:45am." 

I am not a morning person. I am not even a mid-morning person. I like to stay up late and sleep until 11am. My vocabulary in the morning is equivalent to a 2 year old caveman's. I speak in grunts and groans. It drives Jamie crazy. I am not being mean. My brain just does not function until a certain time.

This morning was terrible for me. I was awake way before I should have been, Charlie woke up way too early and I actually had to function. We made a pact last night that we would not have any stupid spats for the entire trip. It was 6:45am and we had been on the road for 2 minutes before that pact went right out the window. The worst part is that it wasn't even about something that mattered. It was about where the soldier that is accused of murdering innocent people in Afghanistan lives. 

I want to make it clear that Jamie and I love each other very much. We do not just look for things to debate. These car ride spats are not knock down, drag out, voice raising fights. They are always about stupid stuff. I forgot ranch for the chicken nuggets, I am driving in the wrong lane or we disagree on where someone we do not even know lives.

After a few minutes of disagreeing on where this random guy lived we looked at each other like "Did we just have that conversation?" We laughed it off and continued our trip. I grunted and told Jamie that she could not talk to me before 10am. She told me that I could not talk for the entire trip. The rest of the ride went great. Let's see how the ride home goes.

Chuck-en-dale!

I am convinced that Charlie is going to be an exoctic dancer. The boy will hear any rhythmic beat and break out in dance. He is quite the showmen. He prefers to show off his moves from an elevated venue such as the couch, a chair or table. The biggest clue to his future career is his eagerness to disrobe.

I know that most children prefer to run around in their diaper, but my child takes it to the next level. He really works the room while he is in the buff. He puts in a request for music and he gets to work. He starts out in a widened stance, he wiggles his booty and brings in hand gestures as if he is calling in the ladies.

Once he feels the rhythm he begins to let it rip. He bobs his head, spins in circles, jumps around to show off his physical attributes and finds a stage. He incorporates many different moves that he has developed over the last 18 months of his life. It is quite a show.

Charlie uses many different costumes for his performance. The costumes range from a bucket on his head to the couch armrest cover. His favorite costume is the fire helmet. Here are a few examples.

 You can not help, but laugh and enjoy the entertainment. I just hope that he does not decide to start his own revue. Lord, please let him be a doctor or lawyer or musician.

Fearless!

If I do not have a stroke by the time that I am 40 it will be a miracle. My child has absolutely no fear, except for small dogs. He climbs anything that he can get his little knee or foot on for leverage. He hangs his body over any ledge. He even tries to go down the pool slide in the deep end with no flotation devices.

Our summer activities have revealed that Charlie loves swimming. He will typically stay on the steps where he can sit and play with his toys however, he occasionally gets an itch to jump up and try to jump into the pool. This is not a big deal when he has his flotation gear on, but his mischievous ideas come to him when he is not geared up.

He has been very good about not running by the pool and keeping his distance form the edge. Yesterday, not so much. He was quietly playing on the steps next to Mommy when he made his way out of the water and over to me about 4 feet away. He made a gesture as if he was going to jump into my arms in the shallow end when he darted for the slide. I am no Michael Phelps, but I can swim relatively fast. Relative to Charlie's running speed. I made my way to the slide in an effort to keep him from taking a plunge. He threw his leg over the edge of the slide and tried to slide down. I am now in the deep end of the pool, treading water, trying to hang on the edge all while holding Charlie on the slide.

I asked for help from the four other adults watching this take place, but I guess that they were all too comfortable to come to the rescue. Maybe they could not hear me since I was nearly drowning while performing my acrobatic skills? I did hear my mother say "Let him slide in." What? Let him slide in? It is 10 feet deep! Of course this was one of the moments that he was not geared up to float or I would have let him slide in.

I tried as hard as I could to keep Charlie on the slide while someone came to get him, but it was no use. I let him slide in. I caught him by the waist and raised my arms. The weight pushed me under water until I could kick my way back to the top. Luckily Charlie never went under. He thought it was great and wanted to do it again. I reached the side of the pool and expelled the water from my mouth and nose while holding firmly on to my child.

I made my way back to the steps with Charlie's arms wrapped around my neck like a baby Chimpanzee (read Clingon!). He was happy that he went down the slide, but upset that I would not let him do it again. I don't think that I would have made it through round 2. I was not cut out to be a life guard.

 

Where is Bink? Sea 1 Ep 7

The Blowout Part Deuce!

If you have not read "The Blowout!" Stop here and read it before continuing. Click here to read "The Blowout!"

For those of you that have been following me for a while, I am sure that you picked up on the foreshadowing in the title.

Over the past 18 months of fatherhood I have experienced a lot of "baby stuff". Changing diapers has become part of my daily life and does not bother me. I've had baby dookie on my hands, stuck to my clothes and even smeared on my face. Those tough ones work up a sweat and I have to wipe my brow.

I never imagined the following scenario taking place, but guess what? It did.

Charlie and I were hanging out at Paw-Paw and Nana's last night while Jamie attended bootcamp. Charlie was in a great mood. He was playing the piano, running around the house and trying to get his hands on Paw-Paw's model airplanes. I was playing along with Charlie and waiting for dinner.

Charlie went to his high-chair and attempted to pull it into the kitchen. This is an obvious sign that it is time for him to eat. I lifted him into his chair and prepared his dinner. I made him a hot dog, gave him some cheese and he proceeded to chow down. Paw-Paw came home with a white paperbag that gave off an aroma that Charlie recognizes. French Fries!

Charlie immediately turned on the cuteness in hopes that Paw-Paw would give him a french fry. It worked, of course. Charlie held his treat with his thumb and fore-finger and had his pinky pointed out as if he was sipping a glass of tea.

Charlie finished his meal and I lifted him from his seat and stood him on the floor. We retreated to the living room to continue playing and acting silly. About five minutes into our play time Charlie started with his "shoulder raises". A tell-tale sign of download in progress. I let him do his business and returned to the kitchen where I could still keep an eye on him. To ensure that "download" was complete I gave him a few extra minutes to work out the "bugs". This would prove to be a bad decision.

During the few extra minutes that I allowed before changing Charlie's diaper, he was climbing on the couch, running around the room, burying himself under the pillows and making silly faces. I happen to notice a few times that he kept reaching back and grabbing his shorts as if something did not feel right. I thought "Maybe he knows that he did his business and it is time to start potty training?"

I walked into the living room to begin the diaper changing/ wrestling match process. I looked down at the couch and noticed that the cushion was wet. This is not unusual for a child that is drooling 24/7. I placed two fingers onto the wet spot to perform a sniff test and determine if the substance was benign or malignant. I raised my fingers to my nose and "BAM!" The odor hit me like a baseball bat in the face.

Charlie must have been watching my face and found my expression to be amusing because he giggled with a giant smile on his face. As I leaned down to pick him up I noticed that his legs were wet. We were now at defcon 5. All codes confirmed, launch missles! I grabbed him underneath the arms and rushed him to the bathtub. My arms were straight out to create safe transport distance between him and my body. His legs dangled like marianette limbs and bounced with every stride that I took. Charlie thought it was a fun ride.

I yelled to Nana to grab me a diaper. I placed Charlie in the bathtub and began immediate decon procedures. Water on, check. Clothes off, check. Diaper off, check. Weird smell crinkle face, check. He looked like Frosty the Snowman when I finished lathering him in soap. He thought it was great.

I finished washing him and returned to find the trail of tears in the living room. On the couch, on the pillow, on the floor, everywhere. I grabbed the cleaning supplies and some paper towels. Was I raising a puppy or a human? Charlie wanted to help clean up (He does take after his mother), but I would not allow him for obvious reasons. There were already enough casualties.

How in the world did my child harbor that much waste in his little body? He used to weigh 28 pounds. Now he must be down to 25. The icing on the cake is that before Jamie left she said, "He has not gone today." Next time I hear that, guess who is in charge. I've had my share of blowouts.

Lego Maniac Sea 1 Ep 6

Clingon!

Over the past few weeks Charlie has become a "Momma's Boy". He can not let Jamie out of his sight without freaking out and throwing a tantrum. I am hoping that this is just a phase because not even I can console him or distract him if he sees her leave.

I can understand being a little upset when Mommy leaves, but our child goes into absolute distress mode. He almost acts afraid of who ever he is left with, including me. Is this a side effect of children with stay-at-home mothers? 

If Charlie knows that Jamie is about to leave and when she does return, he hangs on to her like a baby Chimpanzee hangs on to it's mother. It is cute because you can tell how tight he is grasping her shirt or arm, but it is to the point of Mommy not being able to do anything without her baby Chimp having a death grip on her.

The fits that he throws are very "dramatic". They are very believable however, there are never any real tears shed and the fit stops immediately when she returns. Charlie is an incredible actor. 

Is this normal for 18 month old children? Is it really a side effect of him being at home with Mommy all day? I hope that it does not last too much longer. I want my buddy to be stuck on me.

Jack-Jack and Chi-Chi Sea 1 Ep 5

Stop Searching!

You may have noticed that I added a subscriber box on the right side of my page. This signup form allows you to receive our posts directly to your email so that you are always up-to-date when we upload a blog, vlog or pictures.

You will receive one email that includes all of our updates for that day. The email will be sent out at noon so that you may have some lunch-time entertainment.

The best part of our email feed is that you will not have to search for our daily updates and you will never miss the most awesome stories and events that happen in our lives.

It is quick and easy. Enter your email address, first name and click submit! Verify your subscription in your email and Voila! You are now ready to receive that next great post!

Please subscribe today!



 

Subscribe to The Hoppy Show for email updates

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Email Format

• html
• text
• mobile

Charlie's Duck Feathers!

Charlie's hair is growing like crazy, but it is blonde so you really can't see it unless you are close to him. Most of his hair is growing in the back so he has a semi-mullet working. When he gets hot and sweating his mullet begins to curl up. He really rocks that Billy Ray Cyrus do pretty well.

One day we were at my cousins house and I called Charlie's curls his "Duck Tail". My cousin, who is 4 years old, began calling his mullet "duck feathers". She misinterpreted what I had said about his hair, but it is absolutely adorable so I just let it go and laughed. 

I mentioned the idea of trimming his hair so that he didn't look so 90s Billy Ray-ish, but that was shot down immediately by the hens in the coope (my wife and mother). The poor boy looks like a little old man with a bad comb-over. I just want to make him look decent.

All of the ladies say "He looks so adorable. We want him to have long hair." Now, you have all seen my head. I am always wearing my hair high and tight. I can not stand the feeling of hair on my ears or neck. Apparently Charlie does not like the feeling either because he is always rubbing the back of head in a manner that resembles, "Get this dang stuff off of my neck!"

Just be patient Buddy. One day while Mommy is out and about, I will trim it for you.

Then probably get served with divorce papers. I better just leave it alone.

4th of July Sea 1 Ep 4

Chili Cheese Fry Day! Sea 1 Ep 3

Cincinnati Style Chili Cheese Fries!

In my latest vlog, Chili Cheese Fry Day, you will see that I made Cincinnati style chili cheese fries. Here is the recipe if you found yourself with a watering mouth after viewing this video. If you do not live within 100 miles of Cincinnati, you may be out of luck when it comes to finding Gold Star or Skyline chili. Chili cheese fries may not be healthy, but they are delicious.

This recipe is sufficient for two servings and can be stretched to 3 or 4 if used as a side or party platter.

You need:

• 3 standard Idaho potatoes
• 1 can of Cincinnati style chili (Gold Star is the best, Skyline will work)
• Cream Cheese (Use amount you prefer. I use 1/2 of a block)
• Shredded cheese (Use amount you prefer)
• Salt (optional)
• Frying pan or deep fryer
• Small sauce pan
• Cooking oil
• Large bowl
• Water
• Large fryer scoop or ladle
• Plate 
• Paper towels

Preparation:

1. Begin heating the oil in the frying pan on medium heat. It is best to start this prior to the other task for time efficiency. Use enough oil to cover the fries while they are in the pan cooking.
2. Begin heating the chili in the small sauce pan on low heat. Cincinnati style chili can burn easily. Heat slowly for best flavor. Stir occasionally.
3. Wash potatoes thoroughly. I prefer to leave the skin on. You may peel them if you choose. Slice potatoes long-ways into 1/4" slabs. Then slice the slabs into 1/4" fry strips.
4. Add water to your large bowl until it is half full or half empty. I am a positive person so I like half full. As you cut the fries, place them in the bowl of water to soak.
5. After slicing all of your fry strips, rinse them under running water while leaving them in the bowl. This removes the starch and makes for better flavor and easier frying.
6. Prepare plate with a layer of two paper towels to absorb grease.
7. VERY IMPORTANT!!! DRY THE FRIES OFF BEFORE PLACING THEM IN THE OIL!!! OIL AND WATER DO NOT MIX!!! ESPECIALLY HOT OIL!!!! 
8. Slowly and gently place the fry strips into the pre-heated oil until you have 1 layer of fries in the pan. Let the fries cook for a few minutes then gently stir to ensure even cooking. Cook until golden brown or until the fries have reached your desired crunchiness. Chili fries will soften after adding chili. I prefer to make them semi-crispy. Do not salt your fries while they are in the oil. Salt kills oil.
9. When the fries have reached your desired crispiness, use scoop or ladle to remove fries from pan and place them on the paper towel plate. Salt to taste.
10. Divide your fries into desired portions or place on a platter. Place fries in an oven safe dish if you wish to melt cheese or keep warm. Cover in chili. 
11. Add cream cheese and shredded cheese. Microwave for 30 seconds to melt cheese if you did not use the oven method.
12. EAT!!!

I hope you enjoy this recipe.

Charlie at Chuck's Sea 1 Ep 2

A Dad Can Be A Kid!

Today is Charlie's friend Jackson's birthday. Jackson invited us to join him at Chuck E Cheese's. We accepted the invite and joined the party. I have not been to CEC since I was a child and my last memory of that place was a dark, loud, smelly one.

The CEC in our area has been recently remodeled. The exterior looks nice and clean, but I had my doubts about the interior. It is not easy to keep a building filled with wild children new and shiny for an extended period of time. Food, snot, drool, juice, milk and who knows what else gets plastered on handles, the floor, walls and tables. 

We arrived at CEC and I prepared myself for what I was sure to be a crazy experience. We opened the door and made our way to hostess podium where we were promptly stamped with invisible numbers. I was quite impressed that they took extra measures to protect our child from theft. He is a desirable child if I might say so myself. My first impression was a good one. Everything looked clean and neatly arranged. The building was well lit and open.

We met up with Jack and wished him a happy birthday. He was excited to see us as usual. Charlie was drawn to the animatronics performing on the stage. He bypassed lunch and went straight to fun time. What the heck, it's Jack's birthday.

Charlie took his typical five minute observation break and made himself aware of his surroundings. We strolled over to the area designated for token rides. Charlie immediately fell in love with the Bob The Builder bulldozer ride. The only catch was that he did not want it to move. 

He ran around getting more excited with every ring of a bell and flash of a light. He could not focus on one game or ride. Charlie wanted to do everything all at once. How was I supposed to win any tickets if the boy would not stay with me for 30 seconds without finding something new to advert his attention.

At some point between the bulldozer and the ball popper game I caught the ticket itch. I had to win! Tickets, tickets, tickets! I could not get enough. 5 here. 8 there. I was going to be the ticket champ. I played hard to win as many as I could. I got mad when I saw 7 year olds with armfuls of tickets running around like they were so cool. "Oh, you are so awesome kid. Now watch me whack-a-mole. Wham, wham, wham! You're a winner! Here are your two tickets!

I blew through $12, worked up a sweat and challenged a few 5 year olds to water gun races and only won 127 tickets. Actually I only won 98. I grabbed the other 29 out of machines that kids walked away from. "Pay attention kid. You snooze, you lose."

Now came the moment I had worked so hard for, Cash-in. I strutted my way to the counter with the boy by my side. We were about to show them who was boss. Our eyes widened at the sight of all of the amazing prizes. Our heads lowered as we were reduced to the lower levels of prize bins. Sorry Charlie. Daddy failed you this time. Luckily Charlie was absolutely thrilled with his 50 cent slinky, 25 cent spoon, 5 cent stickers and 7 cent whistle. 

Chuck got me this time, but the time with my family and friends was well worth it.

Back in Action Sea 1 Ep 1

How about a Vlog today...

Mr. Poker!

Charlie has been waking up bright and early in the morning. He comes into bed with us for a while and chills. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, other times he just sits in our bed and sings, giggles at himself or dances to the music in his head.

He is pretty patient for a while until he decides that he wants to get up and start the day. Jamie is the typical morning caretaker, but Charlie wants me to get up too. He peeks his head up over my shoulder and giggles. If I do not respond he makes his presence known by giving me a poke in the head. I always feel that little finger and hear the whispered laughter of the boy, but I just lay there and make a game out of it. I often peek from beneath the covers just enough for Charlie to see me and he lets out the cutest giggle ever. 

If I do not sit up and get moving, Charlie lunges at me as if he is a lion about to pounce on his prey. It is a frightening experience. Atleast I make it seem that way to humor the boy. I can't wait until I can say "Go watch cartoons."