Are you doing what you love?

Today's blog is very personal to me, but I felt the need to share it with you. I hope that it makes you think about your life.

I sometimes have down time at work and my mind races through all of the thoughts that I did not have time to think about while I was busy. One of those thoughts today was, "Am I really doing what I love"? This question comes to my mind quite often, which raises a red flag in my head. I do love my job. I have always enjoyed sales and, not to brag, but I am pretty good at it. It comes natural.

As a young boy I can remember always wanting to be a professional firefighter. I was always at the firehouse because everyone around me was a firefighter or EMT. I loved the smell of the turnout gear, the sound of the trucks and all of the cool "toys" that were on the truck. I could not wait to be a firefighter.

I graduated highschool and after partying all summer I went to the local fire department and applied for a volunteer position. I was accepted and started living my dream of becoming a firefighter. I continued on to EMT certification school and then on to Paramedic school. Along the road I was also attending many hours of fire service training. This road took me on a three year journey, but it was worth it. In 2005 I was hired as a professional firefighter. I had obtained my goal. I was a 22 year old kid living his dream.

Through the next 3 and a half years of my career I had issues with my sleeping habits which were not condusive for a 24/48 work schedule. In the summer of 2008 I resigned from the fire department. I was devastated that I had let it all go. This wake up call made me go find out what was causing the sleep issue and I got it resolved. Too little, too late for the job that I had just left, but atleast I knew what was happening.

I filled the next year and a half with a job as a Peace Officer for a private security department. This job was pretty neat. It almost replaced the hole in my heart that I left for the fire service. I was still able to use my EMT skills and teach CPR so I was still making a difference. I hope? I still don't believe that it is what I was called to do though. I should be going 100 miles an hour with my hair on fire saving people.

Recently in my down time I have thought more and more about what my purpose is. I keep feeling something calling me back to the fire service. I have been leary because I do not want my sleep patterns to be screwy again and have to go through the same ordeal I went through before. Something tells me that I will be okay though. Over the past few months I have been attending classes to renew my certifications. I am one class away from being eligible to reapply for a fulltime firefighter and or Paramedic position.

It may sound funny to you, but the show "Rescue Me" really sent my wheels into overdrive. Yes this show is a bit dramatic, however the everyday issues that the crew faces in the firehouse is almost spot on. If you have not experienced this type of commraderie, you would not understand the bond that you have with your crew. You trust them with your life, you spend one third of your life with them. You would trust your kids with most of them. I miss it. It is what I am supposed to be doing. That is what I love. Please keep me in your thoughts as I finish my last few classes and begin to reapply for career firefighter positions.

Take a few minutes and reflect on your current life. Are you doing what you love? If not, do something about it.