Fifty Shades of Freakout!

The Wife has been reading "Fifty Shades of Gray" and informed me that she would soon be finished with the first book and that she needed the second book. She used her "sweet, pretty please voice" which she often reverts to when she wants me to buy her something. I kept telling her to wait until Mother's Day and Charlie might get it for her. She swiftly changed to the "pouty, disappointed" voice after that statement. Why do I let this woman work me like that.

I left work and of course stopped at the store. I thought about buying the book and hiding it until Sunday. The problem is that you can not hide anything from Miss Snoopy. She would smell the newly bound pages and find the books anywhere that I hid them. As I was leaving the store I received my "It's past 9:20pm. Where are you call." I played it off as if I had to stop at the store to buy a new can of chew. The ploy worked and I made my way home.

Now I had to get into the house carrying a Kroger bag with a large rectangular shaped object in it. I had already given in to not being able to hide the book until Sunday. I pulled up to the house and of course "Miss Neighborhood Watch" was sitting in the window. I wiped the "I'm up to something" smirk off of my face, quietly closed the car door, army crawled up to the front door and slipped into the house. I proceeded directly to the kitchen and placed the bag on the table.

I took two steps into the living room and heard. "What's in the bag?" I replied, "Brownies! Why don't you go make them?" "I don't feel like it." Jamie replied in a stretched out tired voice.

Lonnie and Kylie were at the house to hang out for the evening. (Jamie's brother and his girlfriend) They sat up like little puppies about to receive a treat when thay heard the word brownies. It took everything that I had to not laugh at the vision of their soon to be disappointed faces.

I kept asking Jamie to make the "brownies", but she would not go in the kitchen. I finally went into the kitchen to make my dinner knowing that she would follow. She opened the bag to find the second book in the series. You would have thought that she was six years old and just got a pony for Christmas. She jumped around and squealed and ran in to the living to show Lonnie and Kylie what I had bought for her. Finally I had pulled off a very unexpected surprise on "Miss You Can't Surprise Me." After Jamie calmed down from her frantic skipping and prancing she returned to the kitchen to get the brownie mix out of the bag. TA-DA! Another book! I went ahead and bought her the third book in the series. She again performed her "skippy, prancy" dance about the room and showed off her new books to Lonnie and Kylie. I had finally pulled off a great surprise.

I returned to the living room with my taco bowl and sat at my desk to eat. The room was quiet other than Jamie still ranting and raving about how happy she was. Lonnie and Kylie sat on the couch like two little kids that had their lollipops taken away. Jamie asked Kylie, "What's wrong?" Kylie replied, "I'm guessing that there are no brownies in the bag?" I apologized for the false excitement that I had created with the brownie ploy.