My wife is terrified of birds. I don't know if she had a bad childhood experience with a trained attack falcon or what, but it is funny to watch her freakout when a bird is near. She thinks that they are all out to get her and that they will get stuck in her hair and eat her brains or something crazy like that.
Last night she began telling me a story about the birds that have taken up residency in our grill on the back patio. She said that the bird landed on the grill and started doing something wierd. She began demonstarting the birds actions and I just about peed my pants watching her. Let me see if I can paint this picture for you. Even if you do not have the exact picture I am sure that it will still be funy.
The bird began making a motion with its neck that looked like it was about to vomit. Its beak was wide open and all of a sudden one of the birds wings stretched out slowly. Jamie thought that the bird was seizing. Now imagine your significant other acting out this dramatic re-creation of a bird sitting on a perch with their mouth wide open, neck going all crazy like they are about to vomit and their arm sticking out to their side like a wing. Make sure the elbow is slightly bent and the wrist is contorted. I am still laughing.
Jamie suddenly stops the performance and says, "What do you think it was doing?" My response was, "Regurgitating to feed the babies." She said, "I am glad that I don't have to go through all of that to feed Charlie." I thought "Me too. He would probably freak out if he had to watch the performance that you just acted out."
She continued the story and a second bird had arrived to join the first bird. The second bird began the regurgitating dance. Jamie again acted out the actions of the second bird. It was very similar to the first performance, but may have been a bit more dramatic.
Jamie was inside the house while watching the birds do thier thing, but the screen door was not enough protection from these small harmless birds. She thought to herself, "Those birds are carrying STDs, and are about to peck their way through the screen door and attack me and Charlie." After a long period of laughing I finally caught my breath. I was about to ask how the birds caught the STDs, but I just let it go. That would just start a whole other conversation.
The story continued. After the thoughts of the birds coming in to the house through the screen door and attacking her and Charlie, she had convinced herself that it was about to happen. The birds were still doing the regurgitation dance and minding their own business trying to feed their babies. Jamie ran to the door and tapped on the glass sliding door and scared the birds away. The poor baby birds are now starving.
Last night she began telling me a story about the birds that have taken up residency in our grill on the back patio. She said that the bird landed on the grill and started doing something wierd. She began demonstarting the birds actions and I just about peed my pants watching her. Let me see if I can paint this picture for you. Even if you do not have the exact picture I am sure that it will still be funy.
The bird began making a motion with its neck that looked like it was about to vomit. Its beak was wide open and all of a sudden one of the birds wings stretched out slowly. Jamie thought that the bird was seizing. Now imagine your significant other acting out this dramatic re-creation of a bird sitting on a perch with their mouth wide open, neck going all crazy like they are about to vomit and their arm sticking out to their side like a wing. Make sure the elbow is slightly bent and the wrist is contorted. I am still laughing.
Jamie suddenly stops the performance and says, "What do you think it was doing?" My response was, "Regurgitating to feed the babies." She said, "I am glad that I don't have to go through all of that to feed Charlie." I thought "Me too. He would probably freak out if he had to watch the performance that you just acted out."
She continued the story and a second bird had arrived to join the first bird. The second bird began the regurgitating dance. Jamie again acted out the actions of the second bird. It was very similar to the first performance, but may have been a bit more dramatic.
Jamie was inside the house while watching the birds do thier thing, but the screen door was not enough protection from these small harmless birds. She thought to herself, "Those birds are carrying STDs, and are about to peck their way through the screen door and attack me and Charlie." After a long period of laughing I finally caught my breath. I was about to ask how the birds caught the STDs, but I just let it go. That would just start a whole other conversation.
The story continued. After the thoughts of the birds coming in to the house through the screen door and attacking her and Charlie, she had convinced herself that it was about to happen. The birds were still doing the regurgitation dance and minding their own business trying to feed their babies. Jamie ran to the door and tapped on the glass sliding door and scared the birds away. The poor baby birds are now starving.
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